Last Thursday saw kak-B for the 2nd time. Before this I do notice her, as I love to stroll around the store.. but I don't feel anything extra. Minding my own business. This time is a bit different. I found myself kind of lured into her. Her politeness. Her smile. Erk. Love at 2nd sight? Mm..I think it's more of LIKE at 2nd sight kot. Told ro-wau-met. He said that the last time kak-B didn't apply Fair & Lovely yet. Ahaha..yolatu. So, what are u waiting for? Ur not going to just admire the girl from far, aren't u? Erk, it's not that easy la ro-wau-met. Ur well aware of my condition rite. With my life hanging losely like this..in a state of lost, frust and confused, I just don't have the nerv to lift up my face aa. Very low self-esteem indeed. How wud u expect me to go up to her and say "A'kum, hi..I'm binseng..nk kenalan leh? asl pls.. :D" Eheh, see..even to make the first move pon xtau. Dahtu. entah2 kena bini org ka..x ke naya gue. Ngeh3. Uh, I'm in Bahasa mode pulak. Ow-kay..x kisah.

Cabaran paling utama yg menghalang saya dari memulakan sebarang langkah adalah ketidakstabilan ekonomi saya. Ianya juga menjadi penyebab saya tidak berani memberi komitmen kepada mana-mana gadis. Segan. Ego. Bagi rakan perempuan yg sudah sedia maklum dgn situasi ekonomi saya, tidaklah terasa begitu segan saya dengan mereka..kerana saya rasakan tidak timbul soal mereka berasa tidak selamat (insecure) dengan saya. Yela, sekadar ikatan sahabat. Tambahan laie jika mereka sudah berpunya. Saya bisa menjadi diri saya yg sebenar di hadapan mereka. Bisa huha-huha.